Finally finished me!

been working on a self portrait 4 the last few weeks and man does it get annoying staring out urself 4 soooooo long. anyway here is the final piece! hope u like it!!!!

F-U-C-K and all those other dirty words

I was talking to my friend today about words and how people just get soooo flippin offended by them.  We were talking about C*** which is probably assumed to be the most disgusting swearword in our culture.  but i found out, (that is after listening to a 45 min tutorial on the word cunt) that it actually comes from a scientific term for the word vagina.  how interesting!!! well i thought so…. I used the word cunt in an art piece of mine that i did yesterday- i was feeling frustrated with men and life and everything so i just kinda wrote it out onto this board with paint, and today i was asked if i care if people get offended by my work.  my answer to the question was NO I DONT CARE and i duno how other ppl felt bout it but i thought to myself y should i care wat others think?  if i was trying to make a picture that was very pleasantly pleasing to the viewer, i’d be painting flowers and lounge room art all day long…. that spells to me B O R I N G!!!!!!  but in the art world  it seems that offensive art is now accepted, maybe even seen as a cliche.  so how the hell does that work? I would love to have met Tracey Emin at the time when she displayed her bed as an art piece for the world to see- that event was a turning point i think as to what ppl thought was exceptable in art and whats not.  after all, anyone can put their bed with dirty undies in a gallery, but no one did do it until tracey….. god she’s like my  frikn art hero.  So i decided today that im not going to let other ppls opinions restrict me from my work.  if i want to put something out there 4 ppl to view and engage with, then i will.  and yes it probably will have the occasional dirty word in it…  thats enough of me rambling tonight, its like nearly 1am n i think im talkin shit.

Tracey Emin “My Bed” 1998

love and life and all things shit

went to my friend Karlee’s wedding yesterday and it was sooooo beautiful!  SHE was so beautiful!  the whole day was great and come speeches time at the reception i sat with my champayne toasting all these people and crying cos everything was just soooo BEAUTIFUL!!!! and then the drive home in the dark thru the bush at nite and it was gloomy and tiring and back to reality of the ugliness that life can bring.  got home to an empty house and let the loneliness kick in.  have a cigarette, sit in bed feeling drowsy from the wine, and let my mind float into an oasis of nothingness…

yes thats right, thinking about everything and nothing at the same time and wondering if everything around me is how its meant to be.  is God really in contol of my life and my destiny and has all the shinanigans sorted and is riding the rollercoaster of ups and downs of life with me??? i dont think i make sense to many people but i make sense to myself. 

life can be shattering at times when the ones you love and trust break ur heart and leave u bleeding on the floor… (metaphorically speaking of course).   But thats love isnt it. its great.  its beautiful. its shit.  its heartbreaking.  its passion and hatred and life-giving and comforting all at the same time.   i wish love was one thing or another, but its not.  but without love, there is no life.  there is being alive, but no LIFE.  love brings life to even the darkest moments in humanity.

technology is GAY!!!!!!

grrrrr im like so frikkin frustrated ive got this flippin website n for some stupid reason the photos are not uploading… why???????????? seriously i love the net but i hate it too, wat ever happened to good ol’ fashioned phonecalls and photo albums and writing letters loL!  the web is taking over… like our LIVES i mean. everything is on the net these days and wen it doesnt work it shits me soooo much cos its like my life doesnt work. stupid gay bill gates and his computer genius skills of microsoft and watever the heck he did can kiss my ass.  yeh good 4 u bubble o bill, at least ur happy with ur trillions of dollars and paying for hot chicks cos ur old and wrank.  HA! anyways i think the www is making me delerious…. time to smoke… can ALWAYS rely on a good ol’ ciggy!

single and 21… living the high life!

so i was at my friend’s hens party today, she’s gettin married soon good on her, and it got me thinking… i tend to think a lot… im 21, im single, im totally over clubbing and all that shit that normal 21 year olds do.  So wat the heck do i do??? i want to grow up, but i want to stay young.  i want to leave my old lifestyle behind but i want to play in the shallow end of the water and still have one foot in.  but life isnt really like that.  you cant have one foot in the world and one foot somewhere else.  decisions and choices ARRGHHH so much to think about but its really not that hard.  decide who u wana be, then be that person.  wat if ur slightly unsure tho hmmmm? i dont think im unsure.  i know who i want to be and where i wana go, its just the getting there thats the hard bit lol.  but thankfully i got JC to make it that much easier, and help me along the way.  what would i do without my saviour?