nearly over…& the twilight revolution is bak on.

Coming up to the end of my art degree at uni, thats right- this fri is the big night which weve all been working so hard towards- our graduation show!  so excited!  at least i come out of this degree with more then just a certificate.  looking back on my last 3 yrs of uni and man, wat a journey its been.  all the ups and downs and rounds and rounds but its nearly over.  and then onto a yr of honours lol if i get in. 

saw twilight New Moon on the wknd- twice.  i couldnt believe it that wen i walked into hoyts on the wed night, there was a merchandise stand with everything Edward selling.  feel sorry 4 all those poor teenage girls out there who actually believe there is a man (or vampire) out there like edward cullin.  in a few yrs time theyll experience love and realise its not what they saw on the movies- in fact its hard hard work.  loving someone isnt just a good feeling, its loving them and showing it even when they piss u off or let u down.  Love always sees the best in people. 

its so funny (well not really) how we have this idea of love and romance in our head, and in one moment it can all come crashing down.  No guy or girl will ever fill that entire void that u feel.  No guy or girl can change someone just becos they love them.  i think thats the mistake that people make… going out with someone and trying to change them…. hoping that theyll change cos they love u… but it so doesnt work like that.  as much as i love twilight (& edward cullin lol) it really does set us up for failure in our relationships, if we let wat we see on the big screen shape our ideals and beliefs about love. 

maybe people change becos they love the ppl around them- but they wont change by someone trying to make them.  the world jus doesnt work like that.  people dont work like that.  i wish it was that simple.

talking to this artist today and i find him really inspiring, ive let his work and his words influence me and let me believe that im someone im not- that my art is representing me.  but i realised today, that im not who he thought i was.  maybe i was last yr, or 6 months ago, but the people i am living with now love me so much that i want to change for them- and i have.  slightly lol.  still getting there but ive found that change is a very long road.  that change can often take a lifetime for some.  and some will never change.  they are so comfortable and rigid in their old ways that their heart is stubborn and hard towards something that is new, that could be good or great or the best thing in their world!  it makes me sad, knowing that there are people in the world who will never change- never step out and get over their fears, or challenge wat they think about themselves, or stand up to something that is injust.  life is unfair.  we all get thrown shit in life and its whether we let it take control of us that determines how our quality of life will be.  do we give in to whats been dealt? or fight for a better life. 

hmmm…perhaps ive said too much.  leave u to think about it.

peace. 

corina.

on & on & on & on it goes

has been a long while since ive written.  things have been crazy busy with end of uni and the festive season beginning, and lots of things have changed.  But the fight is still going on.  Yes, it is a long hard and dusty road that i feel like im travelling on (or trying too at least when i dont fall down in the gutter)… 

this life in perspective doesnt really last that long, but yet things seem to go on forever.  the never ending choices that u have to make so u stay sane.  it sucks the energy out of u.  and whilst i feel like some of the darkness has left me, like shadows, they are still there.  emerging from the night and changing and shifting in the dark, playing with ur mind and whispering to u to come back into the darkness and play.  but at night, when shadows are all around, ive found out that all u have to do is jus turn on the light.  sounds so simple right? but finding the switch in the dark can sometimes take forever.

letting go of the past, hoping 4 the future, and tryin to do the best u can in the present- its a hard road.  some stuff just doesnt seem to want to let go.  no matter how hard u try to pull it off, it sticks on u like a leech, and sucks out ur blood- ur life- in the process. 

surely there is an answer???? an answer to all this madness and to the many questions that plague me daily.  yes- the answer is jesus.  and all we have to do is surrender it to him… its a pity that thats the hard part.  letting go and giving ur life to a god u cant see.  trusting in a miraculous god that created the universe and is omnipresent, omnipotent, yet loves unconditionally.  us mere humans need more help then we think.  Jesus is the answer, but are we really looking for the answers? or just living comfortably in our miserable existence hoping that all will turn out right in the end?  there are 6 billion people alive on the planet- i wonder how many of us are actually living.