bullets and butterflies
Posted by: Administrator Post date: July 25th, 20102 of my favourite things… they make a good picture when put together. BANG! and out come the butterflies all so pretty and flying freeeeeeeee. fuk my life. well right now. sometimes i wonder if the big guy upstairs will ever give me a break…? surely i cant be that much of a sinner? lol. of course i am. fucking bullshit all the people who are in ur life but not really in it, why cant we have more connection with each other. speaking to myself right now. was never much good at relationships haha.
listened to a speaker tonight at church, he was talking about being a hippo… and wallowing. lol i think thats wat he said anyway. well i feel like a big fat hippo now, wallowing in my own self pity wondering where my life is going and if there is any chance that some good will come out of it. sure i paint pretty pictures and take pretty photos- i also take shocking photos and paint ugly pictures… not bad- just dark and depressive. cos thats how i always seem to feel. so much in the dark. nite times creep up on me so soon everyday and i wonder where the sunshine has gone. those warm rays of light that soak into your skin… yes those ones. they are swallowed up by the darkness of the night, leaving me with nothing but a cold wet and dirty dark environment. everything is black. or gray. or white. theres no colour when the sun goes down, thats how light works supposedly. or matter of fact.
if only there could be sun and rainbows and flowers and butterflies all the time so that i could sit and stare at them and drift off into my world of euphoria and feel the peace and the love of the trees and living creatures that breathe into the earths very being. we are so small, our life span so short… a tree lasts hundreds of years and its roots go so deep into the ground. we as humans however, dont seem to last that long. we live, we die. if ur lucky u mite make it to 80… maybe even 90. but why the hell would u wana be around on earth for that long anyway. the sooner the better. ill go back to the garden of eden and live in paradise and all things will be beautiful. no more hurt, no more pain, no more suffering or sickness or disease. just a waterfall of love………. i would like to go there soon. i feel myself getting impatient. have i not served my time on this earth, in this prison for long enough? No. I haven’t. Because its a life sentence. bitch.
