da da di da dum
Posted by: Administrator Post date: September 28th, 2009after a good peaceful sleep of more then 24 hours ive woken back up to reality. yes…the same old reality- my groundhog day. i dont mean to push people away who love me, i just seem to do it automatically. who knows why?
im sitting in the lounge with a heated blacket (arrr soooo good) waiting for the tv program to watch. very mundane. i cooked dinner and thought about life and wat to do and where to go from here.. got bills up and over my head that i have to pay and not a single cent in the bank. such is life, right?
i am feeling rather tired and that i could fall asleep right now, even tho i had a nanna nap. i think im talking shit right now. my mind isnt seeming to function all that well. damn it. too many drugs thru the system i think and i must’ve killed at least half my brain cells and destroyed my liver. “here, have some more drugs” says the doctor…”they’ll help cure ur disease”…. no thanks doc, i tell them. ur medications are what have put me here in the first place.
i swear the mental health system here hands out prozac like its candy, and all the sedatives as well. just sleep ur life away and u’ll end up alrite. yes, thats how its works apparently. do a bit of CBT, confess ur sins and ur saved. pity thats not how it really works.
doctors are a blessing and a curse. they’ve helped me lots but theyve also fucked me up a lot too. gotten me hooked on the valium and having to tell my story as to why i am my miserable self over and over again… kinda gets to u. but then again, its become normal 4 me to have to talk to complete strangers about the intricate details of my life.
meh, cant be stuffed saying any more. time to watch sum tv and stay warm under my heated blacket =)
