Run away & it all comes back to you
Posted by: Administrator Post date: August 26th, 2009So, decided to take a break from life on the weekend and go on a road trip. run away from all the shit thats going on in my life. run away from people. run away from fears and decisions needing to be made and crap situations and life in general. had such a bloody good time out on the open road and never felt so FREEEEEE! wind in ur hair, fresh country side, open spaces to run around in. it was like a piece of heaven for a few days.
but driving back to perth and the reality of everything started to seep back in. life’s not all fun and games. its bloody hard work. and ultimately no matter how far u run, ur problems will still follow u. there is no escaping urself. thats what i learnt this weekend on the road. i am always with me, i follow myself everywhere. its a pain in the ass being stuck with urself 24/7.
so now back to real life where there are real problems with no easy fix solutions. shall i bore u with all my issues????????? nah… mayb ill fall asleep and drift off into oblivion… or a nightmare!
waiting for the doctor to come tell me whats the “plan”. should life have a plan? i wonder, or are we better off just jumping in the car and seeing where the road will take us- no map book, no GPS, no knowledge of anything. Just Urself and the road. where would we all end up? probably at the end of life by our own self destruction.
i am my own worst enemy.
i could self destruct if i chose to, like a ticking time bomb i am sitting here waiting waiting waiting for something to start the spark. and off ill go with a big fuckin bang!
i just want some bloody peace in my mind. its so frustrating having to tell urself to shut up all the time. where is peace? where is calmness? where is the fucking serenity?
bang bang bang bang….my head is pounding with a million thoughts that i cant seem to drown out. wash them down with a panadol, it dont work. go to sleep and dream about it. wake up and still be faced with it. thoughts are everywhere, in ur head, in the air, in the tv set! coming at u from a thousand directions like fierce arrows trying to penetrate ur mind and make ur heart bleed.
let emotions fall like a waterfall and it ends up a big whirlpool of mudiness at the bottom. who knows wats in the middle of the mess. an answer to all my questions? or simply nothing- just mess.
